Your father is considered a stubborn person. So are you, but you’ve never met anybody more stubborn than he is. He’s living alone, having difficulty keeping up with the general maintenance of his house, and has a tendency to skip meals because he doesn’t really cook all that well. You want to talk about assisted living with him, but because of his stubbornness and fierce independence, you know this is a tough conversation.
How can you convince your father that assisted living is something to think about?
This is a common question and concern many family members have when confronting aging parents, grandparents, or other loved ones. When people are used to taking care of themselves, they have a difficult time even contemplating moving. It doesn’t matter that your father has been living alone for years, that his house is beginning to show signs of age, and that he’s not able to clean as well has he should; he will be reluctant to move.
You need to start at his common frustration points.
Your father has frustration points. He may be frustrated that he can’t get out and clean the gutters in the spring. He might be frustrated that he can’t cook a simple meal at times. He may even be frustrated to have difficulty getting up and down the stairs.
You start at his common frustration points, but don’t highlight those issues exactly. Instead, talk about the benefits of having some support to do some the things he still wishes he could do. He might think you’re talking about helping him out more, moving closer, but you can transition to assisted living topics.
Make sure he understands this is not like other senior care facilities.
A lot of people have certain misconceptions about assisted living. They immediately think it’s like nursing home care and that’s last thing people want to even consider for themselves or their future.
If you can short-circuit these misconceptions early on, your father may be more open to the idea of at least considering this for his future.
Also make sure you listen to things he has to say.
It’s too easy to get caught up in the desire to protect our loved ones we don’t actually listen to their concerns or the things they have to say. If you give him time to talk, listen to his concerns, his hopes, or his fears about his future, then you will be able to mold and shape the conversation the right way that highlights how beneficial assisted living truly is.
For more information about Pipestone Place Assisted Living in San Antonio, TX or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
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