You didn’t think it was going to be like this. You assumed when your mother was moving into this assisted living facility that she would spend more time in her room, be there when you called, and want to spend quality time when you visited. Yet, all you’re getting is her answering machine. When you stop by, the staff call her room, but again, there’s no answer.
Sometimes this can be suspicious.
Some family members might become suspicious that the facility is not being forthright and honest. There has to be something wrong. After all, your mother was always available to talk to before. When you called to check on her in the afternoon, she answered. Maybe you talked with her for five or 10 minutes, and it was a great call that settled some of your concerns, but now it’s been days. It’s been a few weeks since you really had a quality (meaning lengthy) conversation with her and you think she’s hiding or being hidden from you.
In truth, this is usually a great sign.
If an elderly person is not around, if they are constantly too busy to sit by their phone, what does that mean? It means they are busy. It means they are making friends. It means they are likely taking part in any number of activities. It basically means they are not in their room sitting around waiting for each day to pass them by.
This is what assisted living can offer.
The staff at assisted living are not going to be hiding anyone’s parent, spouse, brother or sister. They’re not going to be ‘covering’ for them. There is not some nefarious plan to keep their family in the dark about what they’re really up to.
It’s simply a matter of respecting their privacy, their enthusiasm, their friendships, and more. Some facilities may be able to page an elderly resident to come to the front desk, but that is usually only reserved for emergency types of situations. If it’s just for a family member checking in on them, the best thing is to call the room and see if they are around.
Arrange a time that works best for both people.
The next time you do get to speak with your mother, ask her when she’s most commonly in her room. Maybe it’s 9 o’clock at night, when she is unwinding, reading, or simply getting ready for bed. Perhaps it’s in the morning. Maybe she’s back at her room at noon to get ready for lunch.
Find out when the ideal time to talk to her is and that should help resolve any communication issues you might feel have been building.
For more information about assisted living in San Antonio, TX, contact Pipestone Place Assisted Living or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
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