My father has been on his own for more than 16 years, since my mother decided that she had enough and wanted to be away from him and the abuse that she claims to have endured for ‘far too long.’ I don’t discount what she went through, but she hasn’t been around much during the holidays for a long time, and my father has managed to cope well on his own. However, this year my mother has decided that she wants to spend the holidays and since my father requires a bit of extra care to live at home, that means we might have to think about other options, one of them being assisted living.
I never thought that I would ever have to think about the prospect of moving my father into an assisted living facility, even for a short time, but since this was kind of late notice, I don’t think there are many other viable options. He requires help getting around the house now, some help getting in and out of the shower, and even cleaning and cooking, and he has been relying on the services of a home care provider for a while.
However, when I contacted the home care provider that he’s been using for the past year to find out if he would be able to assist my father during the holidays, since we don’t believe it’s a good idea to have my mother and father together in the same house, even for a few minutes (that would be like throwing a wild cat in with an angry dog), we knew that we had to consider other options.
The caregiver for my father was going to be away with his own family. He assumed that my father would be with us this year, which, I explained to him, was what we had thought as well, until the last minute. I could certainly tell my mother that my father would be there and she would have to deal with it, but I know she’d avoid us like the plague then, and we miss seeing her.
So I called a few assisted living facilities and found one that could take him for a short period of time. I didn’t know much about it, but found out that they can provide meals, or he can cook his own, and that they would offer the right level of care that he needs during his stay. Given the choices, I’d say assisted living was the right option.