You talked to your father about assisted living and though he didn’t say anything or offer up any type of resistance, you still wonder whether it was the right decision. What you’re dealing with at the moment is known as guilt about the decision. You think that it was your decision and that you forced your father to agree to it.
This is actually a common reaction when we have a loved one who is moved into a different situation, usually because they are having trouble tending to their own care. It’s important to put this into proper perspective so that you can have peace about the situation.
Here are some things that you can think about that should help you realize that you didn’t force your father into assisted living and that it’s okay to be happy that he’s in a comfortable and safe environment.
Did he move into the assisted living facility kicking and screaming? Did your father shout about not wanting to move? Did you have to chain his ankles and strap him to a chair? No? Well, we didn’t think so.
Maybe your father wasn’t thrilled about the move, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t recognize its importance for himself and his health. Just because people don’t show enthusiasm for something like this doesn’t mean they’re never going to be happy about it, or with it.
How is your father’s care at the assisted living facility? Is he being treated well? Is he having some good meals? Is he making new friends or connecting with older friends?
If your father is being well cared for and he has a lot of things to do during the day, then that is often a better situation than living alone with nothing to do but wait out those last days of his life.
Are you going to cut and run now that he’s in assisted living? Well, we hope not, and most likely you’re not. You’re going to call, you’ll visit, and you’ll spend time with him. Nothing really changes unless you allow something to change.
Feeling guilty usually has less to do with a situation and more to do with our feelings of doubt and inadequacy. You couldn’t take care of your father and you and he both felt that assisted living was the right option. For that, there’s nothing to feel guilty about because you know? You were both right.
For more information about Pipestone Place Assisted Living in San Antonio, TX or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
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