What Happens When Mom has a Change of Heart about Assisted Living?
Assisted Living in Shavano Park, TX – How to Handle Homesickness when your Parent Moves Away from their Home
Written by John L. about his elderly mother and her assisted living transition experience.
Several months ago, my mother was given the option of hiring a professional elderly care provider or moving into an assisted living facility. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of moving, mostly because she had no clue what to do with all of her furniture and belongings. She knew that she couldn’t bring them with her, but we told her that we could donate some of the furniture to other family members who needed it, sell some stuff, and place the rest into a storage facility.
She was going to need to sell the house in order to pay for the assisted living facility. She was agreeable to the idea because she had heard some good things from friends who had moved into a facility that she was interested in. After a brief waiting period, an opening became available and she took the opportunity and moved in.
It took a few months for us to get everything out of the house and put it on the market, and during that time, my mother was expressing some concerns about her decision. I passed it off as a similar form of buyer’s regret or remorse. It was a new situation for her, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. She would talk about the various things she did with her friends whom she hadn’t spent a lot of time with over the years because of one physical ailment or another.
The house sold relatively quickly and while we were approaching the closing date, my mother mentioned that she wanted to move back home. At first I dismissed it as homesickness, but she became more and more adamant that she just wanted to leave assisted living.
There really wasn’t an option for us at that point. We could’ve certainly try to cancel the sale the house, but that would involve lawyers and wouldn’t get us anywhere. My mother still couldn’t live at home alone without assistance, the house really had gotten too big for her to care for, and moving in with me and family wasn’t feasible because we didn’t have an extra bedroom. I had to sit down and explain to my mother that outside of moving to another assisted living facility, there wasn’t much else we could do.
She agreed to give it some more time and after a few more weeks, she seemed to be more comfortable. Sometimes, moving into an assisted living facility can provide feelings of homesickness. They do pass and if you have a loved one, like my mother, who decides to change their mind after they moved in, be sympathetic to their concerns and remind them of all the positive aspects of assisted living. Most often, the fear of the unknown and the fear of change are the driving factors behind changed minds, so getting past those feelings may take a little time.
For more information about Pipestone Place Assisted Living in San Antonio, TX or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
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