Sharing the cost of assisted living might be something that is an unspoken rule within your family. You all want the best for your elderly loved one, so it made sense that they choose to live in one of these communities. However, it’s one of the more expensive accommodations, though not nearly as expensive as nursing home care.
You’ve been encouraging your mother to consider moving into an assisted living facility for some time and during all of that time, you have also been trying to talk to your other sister and brother about sharing the expense of this level of care.
The problem right now, since your mother has actually agreed to move into assisted living is that you know you can’t afford this on your own and that your mother doesn’t have enough income to be able to afford it every month. You need help and while your brother and sister have agreed to share some of the costs of this level of care, they aren’t talking about an even level of contribution.
You believe that everyone taking a share of the cost for assisted living based on their personal income should be fair. Your brother makes twice the amount of money that you do and your sister isn’t working any longer; she lives on her pension, which is less than half of what you bring in. Your brother doesn’t see why he should have to cover more than his share, which would be a third and you don’t see how you should have to pay more than what your sister does, considering that she only lives a few minutes from your mother, like you, but she hasn’t done much of anything to care for her or offer any help.
What is fair when it comes to families sharing the cost of assisted living? That depends on each person’s definition of fair. Fair share is a fallacy because one person’s fairness might be viewed as an undue burden by someone else.
In order to help keep the peace, and to help find common ground, sometimes it’s best to hire an independent mediator, someone who is experienced with these matters to make sure that everyone in the family feels that he or she was treated fairly.
Too often, personal differences and even past resentments can hamper the ability of siblings and other family members to come together and reach a reasonable agreement. If that sounds like your family, contact a mediator and you’ll be able to find out what’s fair when it comes to helping pay for assisted living for your loved one.
For more information about Pipestone Place Assisted Living in San Antonio, TX or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.