Your mother is in her 70s. (Maybe she’s in her 80s or early 90s.) Whatever her age, perhaps you brought up the topic of assisted living recently and she got upset. She may have shut you down, walked away, or told you to go home.
This could have left you confused, frustrated, and wondering what you did wrong. Let’s address that right from the start: you did nothing wrong.
Some seniors have the wrong idea about assisted living.
There are older Americans who know almost nothing about assisted living or the benefits it can offer. They may associate it with other types of medical facilities and that’s not something any senior really wants to think about.
These misconceptions have caused too many Americans to never even consider assisted living. And, ultimately, they missed out on some wonderful opportunities to make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and enjoy life without the struggle and burden of maintaining their own home.
What can you do about this situation now?
You may be completely caught off guard and now have no idea what to do moving forward. Yet, you understand your mother simply can no longer maintain this house or apartment or condo on her own.
You know she needs assistance, but what can you do? If she flat out refuses to consider assisted living, gets angry whenever you bring up the topic, then what?
Talk about things she might enjoy doing.
One of the most effective ways to get aging seniors to consider assisted living — even those men and women who flat out refuse to talk about it — is to focus on things they no longer do (but enjoyed).
What you focus on should be things you know your mother misses doing. You might say something like, “When are you going to get back to such and such?”
She may snicker, she may huff, and she may even look at you with daggers and say, “That’s mean. You know I can’t do that anymore.”
Make sure you only focus on activities you’re confident she could do with a little help, especially activities that may be part of assisted living.
When she asks you her rhetorical question, you can give it an answer. You can talk as though you don’t understand why she’s not doing these things at the moment. When she makes her excuses, gives her reasons, you can then discuss what’s still possible — with the right environment and support.
Let it go at first, but keep asking these questions. She’ll start to wonder what you’re talking about and want to know if it really is possible for her to do these things once again. Then you can transition the conversation back to assisted living without fear of reprisal (and she’ll be much more open to talking about it).
For more information about personal care homes in Hill Country Village, TX, contact Pipestone Place Assisted Living or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
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- What to Ask During a Visit to An Assisted Living Community - November 16, 2020
- Facing the Truth: What to Do When Your Parent Can No Longer Live at Home - October 7, 2020