You’re at your wits’ end. You just can’t take it anymore. You’ve been looking after your mother for a while, but you have so many other things going on in life. You’re raising children, working on your career, and have so many other responsibilities that you barely have time to think, much less continue taking care of her.
You’ve talked to her about assisted living, but she won’t listen.
It seems that every time you bring up the topic of assisted living, she keeps talking about how you just want to pawn her off on somebody else, put her in a nursing home and forget about her, or something worse. It’s hurtful. After all, how could she think these things of you?
Some people get defensive when they don’t understand the realities of various situations.
Your mother obviously doesn’t know much about assisted living. She probably associates it with nursing home care. The two are completely different, but this is a common misconception people have, especially seniors who, when they were young, may have witnessed a parent or grandparent suffer and languish in a nursing home.
Assisted living has only been around for a few decades, while nursing home care has been around for a lot longer than that. Far too often nursing homes are understaffed and overburdened with the patients. Most of the people in nursing homes require a significant level of physical and medical assistance throughout the day.
Your mother doesn’t need that level of care.
She needs a place where she can live more comfortably, not have to worry about cleaning, preparing her own meals, or even finding a way to get to the store. She needs a place where she can spend time with other seniors her own age and who share common interest with her. That’s why you’ve been talking about assisted living.
But if she won’t listen, will you force her to move?
That’s not something anyone should do. Even if you have power of attorney over her and can make these decisions, ultimately selling her house and forcing her to make a move, that’s not going to be the right way to process this situation.
What you can do, though, is to withdraw your help. She relies on you and as long as you keep going over there, she’s going to keep depending on you. Once she realizes you can no longer do this, she may be more open to other options, including assisted living. When you learn as much as possible about it, you will be able to inform her of just what it offers and that can get her thinking about it more positively.
For more information about Pipestone Place Assisted Living in San Antonio, TX or to take a tour, call today (210) 718-0211.
- 7 Benefits of Memory Care for Seniors and Their Loved ones - September 26, 2022
- Memory Care: How to Decide on the ‘When’ and What to Do Until Then - August 30, 2022
- Supporting A Loved One with Dementia: A Guide for Family Caregivers - July 21, 2022